A Reflection and Challenge for Change

While Erin and I continue our travels through Central America, we have traveled the past few days with a very heavy heart, after hearing about the horrible tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut, and as one local news paper here headlined: "Horror in Estados Unidos".

During this time of tragedy and anguish, it is not a time to push political agendas. This is a time to celebrate the lives of 20 babies whose bright smiles were taken too soon, of 6 teachers who, each day, fearlessly lead our nations youth, and to remember one mother, who is likely heartbroken in heaven.

While people are praying for the families of these children and teachers, I think it is important to remember that the perpetrator in this horrible event also has a family who loved him, who has now lost two people whom they loved.  May these people not be forgotten in prayers, as they too need support and strength in the coming days.

During the recent days, like many, this event has been heavy on my mind, and I began thinking about what can be done to prevent things like this, and I clearly do not have answers, but I do have some ideas:

Restoring the morality of our nation is not something that can be accomplished by simply changing a policy, nor should it be the responsibility of our politicians.  Restoring the morality of our nation has to start with the people, which each of us.  We have to start treating each other better. We can't continue foster a culture where it is okay to treat people poorly because they are different. We cannot continue to bully and oppress people. At some point, these people will snap, as has been shown time and time again.

We cannot continue to shun people with mental illness, or treat them as "others" in society, and make them feel ashamed for seeking help, and we cannot treat them poorly when they are seeking help. When a person is seeking cancer treatment, they and their families do not typically try to hide this from their friends, and when they spend time in the hospital they are not confined to their rooms or within the walls of the hospital. Like any other threat to our health, we must promptly address threats to our mental well being as if it were any other type of health issue.

We can't continue to walk on the other side of the street when we see people who are visibly mentally ill, or talk about mental illness as if it is not something that does not have some kind of affect on all of us. I can't name a person I know who has not been affected by some kind of mental illness, whether it be a family member, a friend or a coworker. Maybe, rather than ignoring the people we think are "crazy" or teasing them because they are "different" we should talk to them like someone who is suffering from cancer. Ask them how they are doing, ask them if there is anything they need, befriend them, maybe even buy them flowers. Treat them like a human being, who needs love, and knows how to love.

Also, I think we can change the way we talk about people experiencing mental health crises.  For many years, advocates have been trying to eradicate the use of the word "retard" because it is offensive, degrading, and oppressing. Maybe we need to start doing the same with words such as "crazy," "nut job," "loon," and the list goes on. Nobody wants to be any of those things, the butt of so many jokes, thus making it hard to admit when we or someone we know may be experiencing a mental health crisis, let alone try to seek help for this.

Clearly, many changes need to be made, and I don't have all, and probably not any, of the answers. But, in the mean time, while grieving the loss of these little children, and reflecting on the heroic actions of so many children, I will make it my personal goal to treat people better, to remove words from my vocabulary that are hurtful to others, and to make sure that that people around me have the love and support they need, regardless of what their circumstances may be. I would challenge everyone to make this their goal, and maybe these small acts of caring and kindness will reflect a change in the attitude, moral and love of the people within our families, communities and country.

May we never forget the lives of 20 beautiful children, 6 selfless and loving teachers and 1 caring mother. May your lives create a legacy of change within each of us.